Ah the classic pickup line.
Once viewed as debonaire, witty, flirtatious... perhaps losing it's intrinsic charm over the years.
But one thing is certain: pickup lines have had their purpose! These cheeky opening lines act as the first point of contact with other humans one finds attractive, or enticing.
In fact, what we've discovered is that opening lines actually make a difference. Even how the opening line is shared, can be of importance.
In a 70-person study conducted in May of 2009, women receiving a variety of pickup line styles from men reported: "Matching a “good dad” hypothesis, they favored him for a long-term relationship if he used a direct or innocuous line instead of the flippant line, because the latter conveyed lower trustworthiness and intelligence."
What I'm offering you today, is a series of "opening (or closing) lines" for women or feminine beings to be used as initial points of contact. And for the purpose of this article, I propose the following:
Consider these pickup lines for women as opportunities for connection! Instead of the usual interpretation we associate to pickup lines, which implies trying to "get something" from someone. Let's keep it fun and light.
1- "Can I ask a favor? Can you hold this for me, for a moment?"
For any Bridgerton fan, you'll recognize this spin on the classic "oops I dropped my handkerchief" move. A common flirtation from the Victorian era that allowed women to engage with a gentleman in a subtle way. Attracting his attention, and allowing him to pursue her further, if he was interested.
These subtle cues are still pertinent today. We've just left the hanky behind.
In an article I found in the University of Dallas student newspaper, the author writes: "But how does this concept of “dropping the handkerchief ” translate to modern day, you might ask? How does a woman encourage a man’s attention without demanding it? When I asked women this question, they responded similarly: eye contact, pointed smiles, maybe even touching his arm. These little motions display a quiet intentionality that women believe cannot be misinterpreted".
Do you agree?
This opening point of contact allows your interest to help you in doing or engaging with something. Rather than simply going for more surface "where are you from" type questions. This can be an impactful way to get to know someone.
2- "Is it always this “xyz” here?"
This is an easy conversation starter. Depending on where you are, you could be referring to the noise level, temperature, sunny in this city, quiet in this area of the library (whatever floats your boat). Without any expectations, this is a great way to open the flow of communication.
3- "I was about to leave but I had the intuition to come and chat with you!"
See someone you find interesting? Let them know they've caught your eye. If they respond favorably, congrats! If not... you were already heading home anyways. :)
4- "That xyz really suits you, great style"
Maybe someone's wearing a hat or shoes or a jacket you love.
Letting someone know the have a great sense of style is far more impactful than simply saying "nice hat" or "nice shoes" because they've created this outfit.
It's a compliment to an ability and who they are, as opposed to just something they're wearing or physical appearance.
This must be a genuine compliment.
5- I'm new in this xyz (area, yoga studio, bar) can you recommend anything in particular?
This is a great way to connect in a friendly, un-sleezy way, while receiving great information about your interests desires and likes too. And possibly trying something new!
6- Are you Google? Because you have everything I've been searching for!
I had to throw in a classic cheesy one, for those funny folks who could actually pull this one off with a great response. To you, I raise my hat! I'm not that witty.
7- I wasn’t really sure I wanted to date again, until we started chatting…
This is something you would say mid-conversation, and definitely a more direct signal that you've found your interest quite charming indeed.
This inspiration came from a recent conversation with a friend around her dating experiences.
Real life, real stories.
8- I was feeling a little off today, but you’re bringing me back online!
This is also something you would say mid-convo, after having spoken for a while and you know you would like to speak with them more. Again, must be genuine.
9- I feel like dinner could be fun, and I volunteer to be dessert.
This is our chosen HOT🔥 line (I received this through a text message once and found it fun), obviously for closing moments when you've already decided the outcome you want.
10- When I ask you about how your evening went tomorrow, what number should I send it to?
As you're about to leave, a quick & cheeky way to grab that phone number from someone you know you want to see again.
Which of the above connection points do you think you'll try?
I would love to leave you with a closing comment: it takes courage to get out there and start talking to people in this way, especially if you haven't done it in a while.
It's OK to start slow.
And especially, remember that if you receive a few rejections along the way... it isn't about you! Embrace rejection as a Universal invitation to shift your focus to other humans that are far better suited.
Let's close with a daily mantra: "Love is inevitable for me"
Xine XOX
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