Have you ever noticed that the moment people stop "wanting" love, or a partner... This is when it appears?
This isn't about ignoring our desires... in fact, what I propose in this article, is that you get so clear on what you really really want in love, you can stop obsessing over the details and enjoy the process of attracting it.
Here's what I mean:
1- Getting clear on how you want to FEEL in your next love adventure, allows you to release the focus on less-imperative details:
I want them to be 6'-2" minimum
Make xx amount of money per year
They're an architect
Dancer
Fit and healthy, exercises 3 times per week
Has two dogs and one cat....
You can imagine how statistically-speaking, our ultra-specific desires might be a challenge to find in one person. Not finding very many people who fit this mold, can lend us to a feeling of chasing, hoping, needing... something outside of ourselves we feel we don't currently have.
In essence, giving our power to a potential other, to fulfill something we're lacking. This chasing energy, can very quickly become a repellant for what we want to naturally attract.
Now... when we get clear on how we want to feel in our incoming relationship, we can begin to create this immediately within our own body and life:
Because more often than not... love appears in very unexpected packages.
A friend you've known for years suddenly feels right...
Someone who has the same values and dreams for the future pops up...
And creating space for this to appear organically, while you're enjoy your life to its fullest, is Attraction 101 in connecting with like-minded (sometimes unexpected) souls.
2- When we're clear, we attract love in a (relatively) clear path. And the reverse of this is also true.
We tend to attract life circumstances that are a reflection of what we experience internally.
As Oprah Winfrey once said in an interview: "the most important question you can ask yourself is: what do I really want? [...] and have everything you do, every choice you make, move you in the direction of what you say your vision is... when you do that, the forces of life rise up to meet you. Most people have such chaos in their lives because they're living in chaos in their head. As soon as you get clear, it clears up."
Being unclear about what you want, may show up as attracting unclear or unavailable potential partners. It may also lead to feeling "out of control" of our love lives.
Like something or someone else is driving the show.
Getting clear puts you back into the driver's seat.
As you'll see in number 3, when we're clear, it's so much easier to spot situations that don't belong and change course with confidence.
3- Niche-ing down attracts right partners and repels wrong partners
This is one of the fears that come up around choosing something we want in any arena of life: "What if I choose the wrong thing and I miss out on other opportunities?"
Firstly, there is no wrong thing, only teachings and experiences we can take with us into the next cycle. Even when it feels the same, you've always grown a little more than the last.
Deciding how you want to feel in your next (or current) relationship, helps you find ways to create this within your own life right this moment! And anything that isn't a match, becomes so much more clear and obvious when you're already "in it".
You'll feel the wrong ones run away and all of a sudden, fresh new interests start making themselves known.
And remember, you always get to decide... if you've met someone new, that is making you feel how you want to feel, do they ALSO hold other aspects that are of importance to you?: matching values, future vision, attraction level, etc
But you're starting from a more solid base, instead from a shaky one that's igniting your
self-doubt and uncertainty.
I spoke about this topic in a recent Instagram live you may want to check out.
4- Knowing how you want to feel helps you make decisions and take actions that get you there.
Here's an example: you're in a relationship and you've decided that you want to feel more: connected, flowing, sensual and alive.
You see a group course in your area that teaches tantric practices to increase connection and sensuality in your partnership.
This is clearly along the lines of what you're seeking and it becomes an easy decision! Assuming your partner is seeking a similar energy as you in the coming year of course.
If you had not decided your words or desired feeling... you might see this class and think:
"someday we should do something like this" without any action, and nothing progresses.
See how powerful this becomes?
5- Once we've proven to ourselves that we can achieve what we want... we know we can do it again.
One of the biggest hurdles around empowerment, is the belief in our ability to actually achieve what we desire.
Even if we choose something on a certain day and decide: "OK I will create this". There can often be a little voice in the background that tries to dissuade us from that reality.
But once you've proven to yourself that you can do it once... twice... then you know soul-deep that you can achieve it. Those voices will always try to come around and knock you off your path... but you will know better, from experience. Maybe not today, maybe it will take a moment, but it is happening.
This is powerful momentum towards achieving your love desire. One that I can't wait to witness you experience in your own life.
Xine XOX
PS: Ready to uncover What you Want in Love and become the Master Creator of your love life? I've created something specifically for this blog post and BlogCast episode.
Click the image below to receive your Love Clarity Meditation instantly
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