As increasing frustration and success rates drop from dating app users, where does one find a potential mate?
The Guardian shares: "The most up-to-date figures show the world's most popular dating app, Tinder, saw its users drop by 5% in 2021, while shares in both Bumble and Match Group, which owns Tinder, have declined steadily over the last couple of years".
Can anyone remember what we did before dating apps emerged in the early 2010s?
Let's bring a fresh new perspective and sense of adventurous-excitement for what you get to experiment with (and save your seats for!) this dating season of 2024. Gentlemen, this may bring insights for you too!
Hint: Put your phone down.
Don't have time to read this post now? Save it for later!
One: Dance Class Maybe one of the greatest predictors of connection, energy match... salsa class!
I may be biased as a salsa dancer. OK yes, I am biased. But partnered salsa and bachata classes are one of my favorite suggestions to get out and meet people. All while getting fit and having a lot of fun regardless of partner potentials (having fun regardless is an important aspect here).
Here's why:
You switch partners throughout the class, so you have a chance to connect with a variety of people.
Dance classes help you experience people's presence with you.
How they deal with challenges or get embarrassed.
How they move their body or stand in their confidence (or not!)
How they connect (or don't!).
How they lead (or don't!).
That's a LOT more information than seeing someone's photo on Bumble and hoping the energy is a good fit.
You discover a whole lot about yourself too, like how easily do you let yourself be lead?
(ex control-freak dancer here... take it from me, surrender is a skill that translates in many areas of life!)
Be sure to attend regular classes, not just one-off's or socials, so you can take the time to really get to know the men in your classes.
Classes don't lend themselves to a lot of conversation so you'll have to create some opportunities from here.
Group coffee perhaps?
Two: Where to Meet Men? Say yes to your friend's birthday parties, weddings, BBQs.
For my social introverts, I get it can feel safer to just grab that phone and swipe (even if not successful) than having to get out and (gulp) meet people...
But this is where you'll find the goods.
Notice your tendency to hide in your phone when uncomfortable.
Try keeping your phone in your bag for the duration and making small talk with people you wouldn't have necessarily chosen before.
As Pablo Picasso once said: "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them".
And since one of the greatest issue I help solve with my love coaching clients is experiencing repeated undesired dating patterns...
Chat with the guy who isn't the loudest, or most mysterious (or whatever you tend to go for) and just remain open to simple connection without expectation.
Three: Pay attention to the next version of YOU that wants to emerge.
Where are you headed in your life?
Is entrepreneurship success your biggest focus this year?
Research networking events in your area! This way you get to both meet men who are on a similar page and you get to help your business grow. Win-win!
Are you dreaming of a more cultured and luxurious life? Try attending a local Museum Gala dinner.
Are you wanting to get fit this year (like me!! Follow my Instagram so we can be "in it" together)? Join a gym and make conversation at the juice bar.
The goal here is to seek out company that will inspire you to grow into your desires.
Who knows, you may make some inspiring friends along the way too!
Four: Where to meet generous men? Volunteer!
Is there a cause that's close to your heart and you've been telling yourself you want to place more energy and focus into it (outside of just posting on Instagram)?
Volunteering is a great way to meet other people who hold similar values!
How epic of a love story is that?
"We met at a donation bank, locked eyes, and the rest is history". Swoon
Five: Go where they go!
This one requires you to be very clear on who you want to attract into your world as a partner.
What are potential shared interests? Or at the very least, interests you would be excited to support!
Do they enjoy craft beer? Do they love live concerts as much as you do?
Are they sporty types that may attend fitness groups in the park on Saturdays?
The idea here isn't to contort yourself into someone "they would like".
For example, if you don't like futbol... don't pretend to, by going to a bar for this.
But stay open to trying new experiences where you may be surprised at what you find!
Six: Group travel or hiking trips
Last but not least, this one is a fun one.
There's nothing more connecting than overcoming challenges together, right from the start.
So consider booking a group travel adventure with other single folks or attending a local hiking group where you get to conquer those mountain ranges with a potential new co-adventurer!!
Are dating apps that bad?
In a world of fast swiping, social media delusions and one-sided situationships... it can be easy to forget how we did the whole dating thing before the apps became such a popular option.
I see dating apps as the fast food of dating.
It's convenient, easy, disposable, but not necessarily going to give you the nourishment you seek, if this is the only place you're building sustenance.
Best to be used as an additional, bonus open door, than the only source for finding lasting love.
Real humans, in real life, will always offer a greater picture than what the applications can provide.
Xine XOX
Next Step...
Join me for more of this juicy love goodness by taking the following
"What's your Healthy Love Archetype" Quiz!
Be sure to share your results and sign up for my weekly Love Letter so we can stay in touch.