The good, the bad and the ugly truths behind finding love at dance socials. And some tips on navigating this world with confidence!
For the newcomer entering into the latin dance scene... it can feel like a whole Universe of love potential has opened up. And in all honesty, it really has!
As you know by now... I'm a BIG dance advocate when it comes to love attraction. You can read more about this in a recent blog post: 10 Ways Dance Increases your Love Attraction
And in this post, I'll help you navigate the ups and downs of the social latin dance scene (salsa, bachata) so that you can get more from your experience, skip some of the "casual" dating pitfalls and walk onto that dance floor with love confidence.
You'll hear me say this over and over again... but getting clear on what you want, is one of the greatest ways to truly step into your new love attraction journey.
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Start by knowing how you want to FEEL in your next relationship.
Not only will this help you embody this incoming iteration of YOU in the immediate (more on this in the coming paragraphs), but it also becomes a guiding beam of truth, shining over all the dating situations that do not fit into your desired experience, so that you can let that shit go asap!
If what you want to feel is safe, adored, connected and deeply seen. But what you're experiencing is the flirtatious attention of the hot dancer that feels magical in the moment, but leaves you feeling anxious, ignored and uncertain in between every encounter... you've got your answer.
Time to move on before anything more complicated develops.
Have conversations with people, even if they don't fit your usual "type".
This may feel like a stretch, but it's something I coach my clients with often.
To avoid repeating the same dating patterns of attraction (hello unavailable folks!), we need to expand our range and open to new possibilities.
Socials are lively, fun, ecstatic at times. And it can be so easy to let yourself get carried away by the momentum of dance, after dance, after dance.
As dancers, we often realize at the end of the night (or year), that we barely know anything about the people we're dancing with. What they do, what they love, aside from dance...
So much potential lies within these sensual, yet also conversational dynamics!
I've once heard the latin dance scene described as an in-person Tinder. Far better to get a real-life feel for the human you're connecting with, than trying to decipher all of this from a photo swipe...
So don't be afraid to strike up a conversation!
Even if they're not your usual type.
You may be surprised at what you'll find.
Pay attention to actions... far more than words.
One of the pitfalls of approaching the dance scene as a source for how to find the love of your life, is the very "temporary" nature of this hedonistic world.
It's a fun, pleasure-based series of evenings. Where you dance with someone, experience a highly magical, connected moment, flooded with oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, like flying through a dreamscape... and the song ends, you don't even know the person's name and you move on to dance with someone else.
As you start having repeated conversations with people that pique your interest, pay attention to their actions far more than their words.
Flirtation is a big part of the latin dance world. It can be very seductive, but it won't necessarily lead to what you're seeking. So receive it graciously, as a compliment. But don't take it too seriously.
How do they act with you?
Do they seem to want to take care of you while you're with them?
Ask you lots of questions to genuinely get to know you better?
Do they want to meet with you outside the social scene?
Or do they say all the sweetest things, but seem far more interested in just getting to the good stuff... in this case dancing, but not really engaging in any other way?
Go where reciprocity lives. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache.
Dance as that woman who already has the love of her life
This is maybe the greatest key to becoming your most magnetic self and attracting the right kinds of partners.
Ever notice that when you're searching for love, it doesn't show up, and as soon as you've met someone, it's like the floodgates open and everyone suddenly seems interested?
This is all about energy and what you embody.
If you walk into a dance social needing to find a date, this energy can be a repellant to others, because you're placing the responsibility on others to care for this "problem" or lack you have.
If you walk into a dance social, already feeling like that woman who already has everything she needs, fulfilled, sensually alive... you're sending energy beams out to others who are on the same page as you!! Instead of those who would likely become just another tick in your repeated dating pattern list.
To learn and practice how to embody this version of you, read my other blogs posts here and here (especially number 5) and prepare to experience your next socials as a more love-confident version of you!
Not only is it less stressful, it allows you to fully enjoy yourself and your friends, without having to try to convince or persuade anyone of anything.
You know your value, your worth, and anyone who doesn't see it, is the one losing out.
Enjoying your life fully is like an attraction beam for those you want in your world. They will recognize you.
Take your time. People who are genuinely interested, take action towards demonstrating this.
The occasionally-devastating truth in dating: if you're always confused, they're likely not interested enough.
If they are, you'll know.
So no need to rush things. Flirt with the opportunities. Practice receiving, instead of chasing. Not only is it healthier, but it will save you a TON of anxiety.
Staying stuck on someone who isn't reciprocating, prevents you from becoming fully open to new possibilities that genuinely are! Give those new opportunities a real chance to meet you where you want to be met.
Now you know exactly, how to find the love of your life in dance socials... Expect it, and it will come.
Your belief in your ability to find love, is one of the greatest factors on achieving this with success.
If you don't believe it's possible, your decisions, actions and attraction, will follow this internal story and you can potentially overlook or even sabotage perfectly great opportunities!
Love mindset is a powerful tool for creating what you desire.
Embodiment practices such as dancing as she who already has it all, is a great way to do this. Daily morning meditations are excellent as well, as they help you maintain the right frame of mind in readiness for your next social.
I personally use morning love focused meditations almost every single day!!
Xine XOX
Next Step...
Join me for more of this juicy love goodness by taking the following
"What's your Healthy Love Archetype" Quiz!
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